


peaceful in the deep

by valkyriered



Category: Fruits Basket
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Gen, Sharing a Bed, Sleeping Together, Supernatural Bonds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:41:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26475850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valkyriered/pseuds/valkyriered
Summary: She wasn’t walking towards any particular one thing when she set out. She’d just wanted to leave her bedroom, then the house, and finally the compound.Now, though, she finds herself reflexively moving along familiar paths, tracing the same steps that she’d taken over and over again.
Relationships: Sohma Hatsuharu / Sohma Rin (Background), Sohma Rin & Sohma Shigure
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	peaceful in the deep

The woods are dark and cool, and Rin walks through them comfortably. She’d slipped out of Kagura’s home in the night, drawn out by the sound of insects and the glow of the moon. Her body aches as she walked familiar paths through the woods— her wounds still haven’t healed, but the pain in her chest is worse than anything. She wants to be going to Haru, but— but…

Nighttime has always felt safer, anyways. Especially this late, in the grey dark edging towards morning. She’s alone, and there’s nobody here to look at her or watch her. There’s safety in loneliness. She doesn’t need to perform or behave for anyone. She doesn’t need to act like she’s any particular thing— just melt into the darkness. She wants to transform, but she’s still in the estate and doesn't want to be spotted by any of the other Jyuunishi. Especially not Haru. She feels sick and dizzy with the thought of him. He’ll never want her back. She doesn’t want him to want her back. She stumbles, leans against a tree, gasps through the worst of the agony. Alone. She’s alone now. Alone again, all over again, and nobody— there’s nothing—

She presses her hands against her face, tries to tie herself back together. She just needs to keep going, keep moving. Just one foot after another. There will be an end to this.

She wasn’t walking towards any particular one thing when she set out. She’d just wanted to leave her bedroom, then the house, and finally the compound.

Now, though, she finds herself reflexively moving along familiar paths, tracing the same steps that she’d taken over and over again. 

Shigure’s house is quiet and dark when she gets to it, and she takes her shoes off at the door, just to preserve the silence. The night is muffled when she slides the door closed behind her, and she almost turns and runs.

The darkness makes it feel dreamlike when she glides down the hall, around the familiar corner, into Shigure’s room.

The craving for touch doesn’t go away, she thinks. Her body is so used to Haru curled around her, the warmth of him at her back, the brush of his lips on the crown of her head. She steps out of her skirt, not sensually, but for the comfort of it. She drops her bracelets and rings on Shigure’s nightstand. She leaves on her top, which is soft enough that she can sleep in it. 

And then she pushes back the blankets, and slides into his bed. 

“…Rin?” Shigure murmurs, half-asleep. Of course he recognizes the weight of her on his bed. Even if not for the bond, they’re familiar with each other, the kind of intimacy that comes from years of closeness. 

Rin doesn’t respond, just pulls the covers up over her and curls against Shigures’ back. He stiffens under her touch. 

“Is something wrong?” He asks.

“No.” She says.

“Should I call Ha-san?”

“I’m not sick.” 

Shigure finally rolls over and looks at her. Rin forgets sometimes, how intense he can be. She’s gotten used to how flippant he is around the others, playing the role of some kind of silly uncle. She wonders if they know what he’s like underneath that character. She’s sure it would frighten Tohru. He’s tired right now, and irritated with her. His eyes are dark, and even with his hair messy from sleep, there’s no silliness present. 

“What do you want?” He asks. 

“I’m lonely.” She tells him.

That’s something he’ll understand. Shigure lives in a permanent state of loneliness. It’s part of lying to everyone around him. Even with the full house, Rin is sure he still feels it. 

Shigure’s look doesn’t soften, but he does study her. “What do you want?” He repeats. 

_Not sex_ , she thinks, although it does trip through her mind for a moment. Sex with Shigure would be tantamount to suicide, and even if she’d been willing to do it for an exchange of information, it wasn’t worth it for the raw comfort. 

“Can you hold me?” She whispers. 

Shigure doesn’t move at first, and the sting of rejection hits her. She could be raw and bare with Haru. But Shigure— he can weaponize her vulnerability. She tried to do the same to him, and he recognized it immediately. She wonders if he’s angry at her, for trying to seduce him. Maybe he’s upset she poisoned their relationship. Maybe it’s presumptuous of her to assume they can just go back to what they were. It’s not a question he would ever answer straight. 

Finally he moves, shifting his arm in the smallest invitation. She slides into it, not too quickly, not too desperately. Perfectly calibrated, measured vulnerability. She rests her head against one of his arms, and the other he drapes around her side.

Shigure holds her. He would never hold her tenderly, or pull her against him the way Haru does. Even if he wanted to, he would never do it, just like he would never ask her what’s wrong.

He probably knows, anyways. He’s guessed. He knew about her and Haru ( _how?_ ), and somehow he knows that they’re broken up now too. Maybe Hatori told him Haru didn’t visit her in the hospital. Maybe Shigure found out about Haru’s rampages, and guessed.

She misses him so much it hurts. 

Shigure’s hand brushes over her injured shoulder, and she shivers. Rin tucks her face against his bare throat. He’s warm from the blankets, and smells so familiar that it’s actually relaxing. She grew up around him, and even now, the familiarity is still a comfort. It still feels safe, even though in her mind she knows Shigure is not an entirely safe person. Even if he’s supposed to care for her. 

At least he understands her.

It occurs to her that Haru and Shigure are the only two people that she has that kind of relationship with. Around Shigure she’s still measured, but he can see right through her and that’s comforting, in a way.

Maybe Hatori. Barely. And not voluntarily. He looks at her like she’s still 10 years old with broken ribs.   
  
“Do you think you may be getting a little too old for this?” Shigure asks. “The neighbors will talk.” He says dryly. The irritation must have worn off, for him to be joking with her.

The joke isn’t really that funny, given what would happen to the two of them if anyone found out about them sharing a bed, but Rin still gives a humorless snort.

“I would appreciate it if you didn’t go wandering through the woods late at night.” Shigure tells her. 

“You shouldn’t worry, Gure-nii.”

“You’re a small girl, Rin-chan.” He says lightly, but tucks her hair behind her ear in a way that feels distinctly possessive. “We don’t want anything happening to you.”

Rin shakes her head. “I would transform.” She says.

“So the best-case scenario is you exposing the family secret?” Shigure asks. “You’re banking an awful lot on a man needing to wrap his arms around you.” 

Rin shivers at the thought. It’s not that she hasn’t considered before— she’s seen the way men look at her. At her body. It’s one of the few instances where her curse is a source of comfort. Shigure curls a lock of hair around his finger, and it occurs to her that he’s enjoying this. That it’s some nightmarish form of teasing. “Stop it.” She says sharply.

Shigure chuckles, but nods and lets the subject drop.

She nestles a little closer, tucks her feet against his.

“Your toes are like ice.” He hisses. He still lets her tangle herself against him, slipping a leg over his inside of the warmth of his yukata. He touches her bare thigh, a brief pressure to readjust her leg to comfortably rest over his. 

Rin can feel a lazy arousal from Shigure through the bond, but he doesn’t move or try do do anything more, so she just relaxes against him, feeling the comfortable tension from him. She’s aware of Shigure’s attraction to her. She sometimes catches him openly looking at her body in a way that would be creepy if she didn’t know him any better. 

Shigure’s arm is a warm weight around her. His hand is a comforting presence at her back, his body solid and present. After wispy dreams of Haru’s touch, of her parents’, it feels good to have something firm against her. Shigure reaches around her and pulls the blankets up higher, tucking them just underneath her chin. He wraps his arm back around her, pulls her a little more securely against him. 

If she didn’t know any better, she would feel safe here.

“Are you going to be making a habit of breaking into my home?”

“You left the doors unlocked.”

“I’m sure the police will take that into consideration.”

Rin rolls her eyes. Shigure laughs.

He pulls her more tightly against him and presses his face to her hair, nuzzling at her scalp. It’s one of the more doglike things that he does, although he used to do it more when they were younger, when he had less control over himself.

“I already smell like you.” Rin grumbles. 

Shigure chuckles quietly, and he rubs his cheek on her hair for a few moments more before stopping. He doesn’t let her go.

Rin realizes that she’s the only woman that he’s ever slept with like this. Kagura and Kisa aren’t nearly close enough with him. 

No wonder he holds her like this. No wonder he doesn’t really complain with any gusto when she climbs into his arms. She wonders if he savors this. She wonders if it’s different than the way he slept with Hatori and Ayame as a child. She’s seen the photos of the three of them sprawled out together on the grass of the Main House, tangled in each others arms. 

Maybe he misses that. 

He’s very gently, minutely rubbing her back with his hand, but she doesn’t complain. Somehow she’d always assumed that she had nothing unique to offer Shigure. She’d thought he only kept her around because she was some idiot child that he found entertaining, and then later something that he liked looking at as well.

Maybe he’s like her. Always feeling the ghosts of hands, and wanting something solid to push them away. 

Then again, it’s stupid to ever assume how Shigure is thinking or feeling. Even now, pressed against him in his bed, Rin is aware of how little she knows about him and how much he conceals from her. She knows small things— what his parents are like, how his childhood bedroom was decorated, what his favorite kind of tea is. She knows that he’s gentle when he wants to be, that he can be incredible cruel when he doesn’t. When he’s angry she can feel it like a stormcloud. Of the Jyuunishi, she’s most attuned to the feeling of him just from his constant presence throughout her life. 

But at the same time, there are things she doesn’t know. She doesn’t know how he feels about her or how he feels about the curse. She doesn’t know why he keeps the secrets that he does. She doesn’t know if this means anything to him, or if it’s just another way to pull her closer in whatever game he’s playing.

His breathing is beginning to level out, and she can tell that he’s starting to drift off. He nuzzles at her hair sleepily. She tangles her fingers in his yukata, as though holding onto him. 

When she was little, she always fell asleep before him. She remembers him tucking her in as a child. She remembers him sitting at her bedside when she was ill or injured. She remembers crying as he stroked her hair and talked to Kazuma over her. Like all her memories of Shigure, she can’t remember the first time any of it happened. She just remembers that he was there, as far back as she can recall. 

It’s strange to have him falling asleep before she does. Part of her wants to sit up and look at him, and see if there’s any honesty on his face when he sleeps. She wants to see the mask slide off.

But she’s too warm. She’s too comfortable in his arms, where he’s wrapped around her and she can smell him and feel him. She knows that it’s because of the curse that they can fall into each other like this. That once they spend some time with each other, they automatically tune to the same frequency. The way she can feel him is deeper than his arms wrapped around her or the smell of his skin.

Maybe this is the only way they can be honest with each other. 

“Go to sleep.” Shigure whispers, and she’s not sure if he said the words, or if he just mouthed them and they appeared like an echo in her brain. This deep in, things don’t always needs to be said out loud.

 _Okay_ , she wants to say, but finds that she doesn’t quite have the energy. At one point, her eyes must have slipped shut. It’s been a long time since she slept with any ease, and it’s almost as though she can feel that exhaustion catching up with her and pulling her under. 

_Gure-nii._

Shigure stirs in response. He pulls her closer. 

He holds her tight against him, almost as if he wants her there. 

**Author's Note:**

> no proofreading we die like men
> 
> just really vibing with 'never let me go' by florence + the machine as a rin and shigure song. partially bc of the shigure/water comparisons, partially bc for rin, going to shigure would be giving in (but also that there's comfort there)  
> deep thots friends  
> follow me on tumblr at valkyriered.tumblr.com
> 
> also fun fact, this fic was originally pure smut. :) i'll probably post the smut stuff on my tumblr at like. some point.


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